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To quote the official website, “If you’ve seen V FOR VENDETTA you already know there are some mighty big explosions.” Well, they were right – it sure was a bomb.

I enjoyed V for Vendetta because of the plot, the acting, the cinematography, and the sweet explosions and fight scenes. What I got incredibly annoyed with was the theater itself, and second to that, the presentation of the politics. My father describes me as a bleeding heart liberal, but even so, I found it difficult to stomach the obvious allegorical associations between the “future Britain” and the United States. I remember paying to see the Matrix in 1999. I also paid to see Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions, which I later regretted (admittedly, I enjoyed Reloaded but only because I was expecting an exciting conclusion that simply never came).

For some reason, I paid to see V for Vendetta, too. I don’t like to go to the theaters, but every time I do I remember immediately why I just stay home instead. My friend Raul and I were meeting a group of other people in the theater. When we got to the box office at the 18-screen theater in the Crossgates Mall, we both paid for our tickets, totaling $19.00 (2 tickets x $9.50 each). Getting popcorn and drinks was the next task.

Mounted prominently behind the concession stand counter was a large menu displaying various “value combo” deals. A #1 combo appeared to be just what we might need – two medium drinks and a large popcorn. However, when the cashier told us the total was $15.50 for the “value” combo, I asked her instead to sell us a single large soda and large popcorn, which cost a ‘mere’ $10.50. For those keeping track, that’s a total of $29.50. However Hoyt’s Crossgates truly landed a kick to the nuts when we actually went into the theater and the woman at the turnstile told us there were free refills on both the popcorn and the soda!

This fact was not made evident while we were actually purchasing the concessions, and obviously that is because if that fact was made clear, I’d have purchased a “kids” size soda and popcorn, and failing that if the concessions people deny me based on my age, I’d have purchased a “small” size soda and popcorn. Even if I had, I’m sure the total for those two items would be at least $6.00.

What bothers me most about that is that the popcorn and soda both cost pennies on my dollar to produce. For those keeping track, the usual profit margin on an active soda fountain is in excess of 90%. This is one reason “value meals” are so profitable to offer – they ensure that selling items with smaller profit margins is offset by selling items with larger profit margins alongside those less profitable items. I fail to see how two drinks and a popcorn can be worth $15.50, even if they sell me a whole gallon of popcorn.

Which brings me to my next point – how much popcorn and soda do they sell you in the first place? I brought the containers home to find out. I still had half a tub of popcorn, so I dumped it onto some asphalt and waited to see how long it would take the birds to eat it. I was disappointed to find however that the popcorn mostly blew away in the wind and was trampled by passing vehicles and pedestrians before the birds could take it all away, thus invalidating the experiment. I still had the empty containers, so I decided to just measure those instead.

I first measured the soda cup using volumetric analysis. Using a large measuring container, I filled the cup to about 1mm below the rim using 1.5L of water. Therefore the assumed realistic volume of the cup is about 1.5L.

Measuring the popcorn tub would be more difficult, however, since the container was designed to retain popcorn, not water. I decided instead to measure the tub and calculate the volume using the formula for a Frustum, which by the way is a hysterical word. The dimensions of the popcorn tub were as follows:

Height: 7 7/8″
Bottom diameter: 6 3/8″
Top diameter: 8″

This then, using A=(pi)*r^2 implies the surface area of the top and bottom planes are:

Bottom area: 31.9″ square
Top area: 50.27″ square

Therefore, using the formula:

We can arrive at a calculated volume of about 320.8 cubic inches. This is equal to about 5.25 liters, or 1.39 gallons. I can just imagine some executive with the theater company making a presentation on earnings and profits, and saying, “Ladies and Gentleman, fellow board members, since 2000, our industry has experienced a significant downturn in revenues and overall attendance.” Then I imagine another executive, the CEO, saying, “Well, Johnson, what do you recommend we do to boost our income?” Then that other executive says, “Well, we could increase the size of our popcorn tubs again, and raise the price correspondingly.” The CEO then lights up in excitement, “Johnson! You’re a genious! Alright folks, you heard the man, lets get on this ‘bigger bucket’ thing.” The recording industries complain a lot about declining revenues and profits, and lately have turned to blaming piracy for this. I’m sure somewhere deep inside they know it might be because they charge an arm and a leg for a night at the movies.

How anyone could justify purchasing almost a gallon and a half of popcorn is beyond me. I would suspect most other people that buy the large are only doing so because they don’t realize there are free refills (as I did not realize).

Maybe part of the reason I don’t like going to the theaters is because I’m cheap. Maybe it’s because I own a projector and a 42″ plasma screen. I’m even willing to believe it may be because I’m just a sourpuss. But it might also just have something to do with the fact that I almost had to spend $35 to see a movie somewhere other than home. Considering that federal minimum wage is only $5.15 an hour, I fail to see how a single motion picture experience can equal roughly seven hours of work.

Maria, Will, and Niclole demonstrate the emotions of the M and Ms on the popcorn tub

Detail of the 1.5 liter soda cup and 5.25 liter popcorn tub

I’ve only ever heard two positive things about Lee Tang Chinese Restaurant in Troy, NY. The first is that they have good General Tso’s chicken. The second is that they’re cheap.

Until today, I liked them because they are cheap and close by. You get what you pay for. I ordered small fried dumplings and a small General Tso’s over the phone for pickup.

“Fifteen minutes.”

Since it’s a phone order, there’s that element of a time estimate for the pick-up. In addition, since it’s a phone order, there’s no reason to tell me fifteen minutes when it’s going to take at least a half hour. When I got their fifteen minutes later they hadn’t even started cooking my order. Which could be understandable, I suppose, if it hadn’t happened exactly this way twice prior to this in the last few weeks.

Today, though, was the last straw, because they also screwed up the order entirely and gave me something other than General Tso’s. It appeared to be Kung Po chicken and vegetables, or more appropriately said, vegetables with what appeared to be a tiny bit of Kung Po chicken. The same is true if a combination platter is ordered (which affords the buyer an equally sad amount of fried rice with the occasional strip of pork found within).

The vegetables are all frozen and tasteless. The rice is equally bland. The General Tso’s chicken, literally, is the only thing I have ever had that was even remotely acceptable.

Delivery from Lee Tang is equally poor in quality. Hanging up prominently next to the cash register is a map of Rensselaer’s campus. The map is numbered. One day when giving them directions to deliver my order on campus, I remembered this, and gave them the number of the location I was at on the map. She read back the name of my building off the map. I confirmed the address. She still was unable to find the building, however, despite the fact the map was drawn with a 3D perspective and includes illustrations of the building and other landmarks. So she called me and said she was “here”, which she wasn’t, and then asked for directions, which was completely pointless since she could barely speak English. She told me she was at the other housing area near mine, a block or two away, then had the audacity to ask me to walk and find her. She walked away without even waiting for a tip, which made me pretty damn happy since I would have only given it grudgingly anyway.

The proprietors of Lee Tang have never been anything but rude to me, for the four years that I’ve been in Troy. To some degree I deal with it when people are bitter, but they are perpetually bitter and deserve a taste of their own.

Avoid Lee Tang at all costs.

Lee Tang Chinese Restaurant
564 Hoosick St
Troy, NY 12180
(518) 273 7708

Last week Rensselaer’s student newspaper, The Poly, ran an article about Rensselaer’s negligently high energy consumption. The institute exceeded it’s nearly $9M energy consumption budget by about 45%, amounting to a $4.1M deficit, totaling a whopping $13M in energy.

The institute quickly responded with cheery meaningless solution statements, such as this gem by VP of Administration Claude Rounds, quoted as saying that the new plan will “‘re-activate, re-energize, and substantially expand energy reduction efforts’ already on campus.” Any such efforts already occurring on campus were virtually unknown to the author, although a sticker reminding occupants of a room to turn the lights out appeared in the author’s freshman year dormitory (in 2002). In addition, Mr. Round’s use of “re-energize” to describe the return of conservation efforts was not particularly funny considering the context.

For students at Rensselaer, this scenario is all too familiar: increasing costs justify an increase in tuition. However, considering that there are roughly 7,500 students total at Rensselaer, the $4M energy deficit works out to roughly $546 per person. That, remember, is just the deficit, and the original energy budget would have allotted roughly twice that for the entire year, or roughly $1,600 per year per student.

So, how does the institute intend to recover that $4 million? Enter the Tiger Team, a fusion between the power of an animal’s name and the predatory stealth of an efficiency expert. Of course, the name might be lame, but the institute has high expectations. The goal of the Tiger Team according to Rounds is to “conserve energy to the best extent possible with the cooperation and support of the entire campus”. Note that Rounds specifically blames the entire campus, rather than zero in on any one group that may be disproportionately consuming energy.

This is where the goals of the Tiger Team become a bit blurry though. The team “will be going through all the buildings on campus, improving the efficiency of airflow and temperature management and working to make significant improvements in comfort.” Of course, the team is going to have a hard time achieving both stated goals, because turning down the thermostat and airflow isn’t many people’s idea of a “significant improvement in comfort.”

The doublespeak continues on, such as the boastful claims about changes at the Student Union: “One of the adjustments made was to the Union’s main air movers which have been reduced to 70-80 percent of their normal operating speed. This reduction that should require about 40 percent less energy without causing any reduction in student comfort, according to Manager of Engineering Steve Angle, who is managing the energy conservation efforts.” How can turning an air mover down have no reduction in student comfort? Mr. Angle doesn’t claim that there will be a change in comfort, or even a slight change in comfort, he straight up says there will be no change in comfort whatsoever.

The changes already have had an insignificant impact. Again according to the Angle, the changes made over the winter break have already had an incredibly insignificant effect on the overall energy crisis, saying “the Institute expects to save $100,000 between residences and academic buildings.” Wow, they saved a whopping $100,000 in residence halls. Does the institute really expect to save another $4.1M by turning down their fans while they expect students to make lifestyle changes? Actually, the institute apparently only expects to save another $750,000 to $1M anyway, even with all these changes. It almost seems they’re going to spend more on the “Tiger Team” then they are going to save. Advocating energy conservation is extremely important to our sustainability as a society, but not when the energy savings represent a net overall loss.

So, what does the institute recommend community members do to pitch in to assist the conservation effort? Again from the article, “They published a new pamphlet with many simple conservation measures including using inkjet instead of laser printers, using stairs instead of elevators, and taking shorter showers to save hot water.”

Here are a few recommendations for the institute: first, turn down the power on the Falls Earth Station (a.k.a. RPI Cable TV) signal amplifiers. Trying to watch the Super Bowl was dreadful because of the poor signal quality. The audio was so clipped that it sounded like the announcers were coming through a megaphone. Every few minutes the signal would freeze and blank, likely because the TV was getting too much signal and the digital circuitry was interpreting it as noise (there was intense white brightness with weak contrast as well). Now that the Olympics are on, it’s just as annoying.

Next, turn off the streetlights that light the way up to Dr. Jackson’s house when she’s not there. Speaking of streetlights, maybe higher energy bills are in part due to the installation of new street lighting. At this very moment, one of the fields behind the field house is having new lighting installed. I like the idea of the light switches with infrared sensors that detect when a person is present. They are especially useful when a person wants security lighting only, since it allows someone to see where there is or where there was another person. There are probably plenty of lights that could be turned off which stay on all the time right now, with little or no reduction in student comfort.

Another option would be to install more windmills on campus. Surely, we have enough wind in Troy. Really, it’s too bad there is no such thing as snow power. There must be some engineer that can concoct a way to harness the untapped energy in falling snow.

Perhaps ask professors to teach with chalk, instead of using overhead projectors. Then again, maybe you could save more energy having professors use the overhead projectors with the room darkened, which enhances readability of the notes anyway.

Non-handicapped students should operate doors manually instead of using the handicap accessibility buttons. Like the elevators, many able bodied people are wasting energy all the time. Along the lines of mechanical energy saving, the parking gates in North lot and at the parking garage should be locked in the elevated position, since there is little competition for parking at either location in the first place. Deactivate the transponder system there as well, since the entire RF-ID system consumes energy. Give students keys to their dorms instead of wasteful electrified card access. On the subject of dorms, I’ll bet it seems pretty silly in retrospect to have built the Stackwyck buildings so that every apartment had it’s own electric heat pump, imagine running twelve air conditioning zones in each building year round independently, in each of five buildings, and then installing electric stoves in those apartments as well! I’ll bet those energy bills are pretty high.

The purpose of this article is not to seriously suggest that Rensselaer do any of the things that I’ve suggested. However, it’s ridiculous to ask students to take shorter showers and use inkjet printers when those two factors wouldn’t make nearly as much of a dent as some forethought would have. The Stackwyck apartments are the perfect example. You reap what you sow. Taking in just over $1M yearly over the thirty-plus year lives of the Stackwyck apartments apparently weren’t enough to pay for good windows, insulation, or a single central smart HVAC system overhaul, so now students are being asked to take shorter showers.

Make your own decision, and don’t get me wrong, conservation is cool. However, as they said, everyone has to do something. It’s like the kids game, follow the leader. Let’s see someone telling us to make sacrifices to make a sacrifice first so we know how to do it right.

So yesterday I watched the Super Bowl. Honestly I was a bit disappointed. I was expecting much more offense. I was also expecting Mick Jagger not to be a jagoff and start spitting out expletives. In fact, I was so not expecting that, that I tried making a 15:1 bet that this year’s game would not require censorship (vis a vis last year’s Nipplegate). And yes, the Steelers won, but we all know that the true winners were the people of the city of Detroit. Good luck with that auto industry though.

In technology news, there is a new security issue with Winamp’s handling of playlist (pls) files, that is being exploited by malicious websites. The bug affects Winamp 5.12 and possibly earlier versions as well. More about the Winamp 5.12 security flaw can be found on Slashdot.

What was particularly interesting to me though was my experience in trying to upgrade to Winamp 5.13. Nullsoft is owned by AOL now, and I guess AOL has in its infinite wisdom decided to bundle Winamp with a copy of eMusic. As if I want or need that. Software bundling is a bad practice over the ‘net. It’s one thing to purchase a computer and have bundled software, because of course user’s want their system to be functional out of the box. However, on the internet, users unilaterally seem to want what they want, when they want it. The exception to this are the cases where users download programs not realizing their is bundled software included. This of course has led to the prevalence of spyware, malware, and junkware. So, to avoid the malware exploitation of Winamp 5.12, I have to reinstall the program I want (Winamp) along with the other crapware? Say it ain’t so…

Fortunately, though, Nullsoft is very nice about file naming conventions on their download server. From checking out the Winamp download page, there are a few options. The lite player is classic Winamp, the full version is the full version, and the bundle version comes with a promotional MP3 (whoop-de-doo). Calling this the “bundle” version is somewhat of a misnomer, since only the lite version does not include the eMusic software bundle.

By trying to download the full version, the user is redirected to a page that links to and automatically downloads the Winamp 5.13 installer. However, when I went to download the file, I was sorely disappointed to see that I was automatically directed to the full installer, bundled with eMusic. The original URL I was directed to was:

http://download.nullsoft.com/winamp/client/winamp513_full_emusic-7plus.exe

As I mentioned though, Nullsoft is nice enough to provide an alternate version, not linked from anywhere on their homepage. Let’s delete the section of the URL that reads “_emusic-7plus”, leaving the URL:

http://download.nullsoft.com/winamp/client/winamp513_full.exe

Surely enough, the file is then downloadable, without the eMusic garbage. Install with the desired options and garnish to taste. Download Winamp 5.13 without eMusic from Nullsoft

UPDATE 07/11/2006: Nullsoft is up to version 5.32, and they’re still bundling that eMusic garbage, and I’m still publishing instructions on downloading Winamp without eMusic.They’re still publishing the “full lite” version the way they published the others, with their standard naming scheme. The file is available at:http://download.nullsoft.com/winamp/client/winamp532_full.exe

Download Winamp 5.32 without eMusic from Nullsoft

Everyone likes a winner. Too often, it’s about being the best, when it should be that everyone is just the best they can be. There will always be winners, as long as there are losers. For example, 50% of people live with less than the median income. Averages are substantiated by data points that are approximately average, usually with a few outlying points that sway the rest in any direction. In a society, there can never be as many outliers as there are individuals. If every individual is an outlier, it dilutes the significance of being an outlier in the first place.

There are no comprehensive statistics on success at life. Somehow, most people are successful at life, because they keep living. Sometimes people die because of health deficiencies, and sometimes they die because of accidents. Something that is the best suited at one moment can be crushed the next. It’s the cycle of death and life that produces the richness of each iteration of life’s cycle. That is evolution, that the system changes around circumstances. Evolution is what produces the extremes. Evolution also produces the in-betweens, however, in a much larger quantity.

Chances are, if you’re not already being paid to be beautiful, no one will pay you to be beautiful. You will not necessarily become CEO of a company because you give them your loyal service. A queen bee is nothing, without worker bees to guard it and feed it. This does not make the worker bee’s existence less significant. Perhaps bees do not wonder what it would be like to be queen bee, and perhaps young children do not all wonder if they can grow up to be the people they see on TV. Alas, not everyone will get to be on TV (at least not regularly enough for anyone to really remember). We all have our fifteen minutes. When it’s over, make sure to bow and gracefully exit.

But don’t even hesitate to enjoy it while the moment is yours. Smile widely and embrace it. Everyone is talented at something, sort of. Well, not every one is talented, really. But the moral of this story is not that everyone is exceptional. We are exceptions to people all around us. In that way, a mother could move across the country, except for her child.

Just be what you are, and try to have a good time along the way. Leave your name carved into the sand as deeply as you’d like, because it won’t stay there forever. Just enjoy those precious few waves as they roll into the shore. Between each wave, there is your name, but just a little bit less each time. It truly never disappears fully. Everything that we do has consequences, but the ultimate consequence is that few – if not none – of what any of us ever do could ever have any true lasting impact for humanity. Even the greatest humanitarians through history were hated by someone, I’m sure. Pardon my computer humor here, but then think that Bill Gates is the greatest humanitarian by the amount of money he’s donated to charity (namely to his own charity). Remember that we are all hypocrites in some way.

I break vehicle & traffic laws and yet enforce parking regulations. Has no police officer ever exceeded the speed limit? The judges that fine you, have they never driven on a cell phone? Has a police officer or judge ever smoked marijuana? Inhaled or not, sometimes the people that execute the law break it themselves. When we see it we should hang our heads in shame. And so we should be ashamed when we are the fool.

Life will hurt. You will ache and strain throughout it. Your vision will blur and dull over time. But you will carry on until you are no longer fit to do so, under life’s orders. Is life the ultimate hypocrite? Life – to create the vivid experience only to rob us of it, and wash away our legacies like our names in the sand. No dollar bill lasts a lifetime if you subject it to use. Even those pesky radioactive isotopes that last tens of thousands of years will eventually fade. Eventually.

One rain drop does not cause a leak on the roof, but one of them does. Every drop that drips in will have some non aqueous material in it. Eventually molds and bacteria will grow where there is that moisture. As those life forms die, somehow, a seed or other kind of plant material is dripped in, and finds the delicious remains of molds to feast on. The plant grows after seasons and seasons of exposure, inside the building. Where there are plants, there are animals as well. The animals will dig holes to get at the food trapped inside. Humans will break windows to steal copper pipes and other miscellany. One day, after many rain drops, a portion will collapse, perhaps because of rot. A building ultimately crumbles. When the building crumbles, the rain will wash it back into the dirt. The mound of rubble will become smaller and smaller as the rain drops pound down – and life happens around it.

Like a mound of rubble is what our legacies will be, no matter how exceptional. But it sure is beautiful watching those water droplets do such beautiful things. To be the essence of life, and to pound us back into the earth, drop by drop. Moment by moment. It’s already happening. A million things you can never know about happened this second. Relax and enjoy the waves, but don’t be afraid to play in them a little bit.

And finally, don’t be a jerk and start splashing people. Since there’s no way to swim without some kind of splashing, just apologize when you do. If you didn’t mean to splash, most people will understand. Anyone that would get upset about it is just trying to make their own waves. And let them. You can always go make a sandcastle instead.

I will allow everyone to see when I am the one with egg on my face.