What is everyone thinking 2007 is going to be like? 2006 was pretty lame.
My predictions for 2007:
- End of the Iraq war, islamofascists welcome us as friends and trade partners.
- Kim Jong Il trades a gift basket from Bath & Body works for all his nuclear weapons.
- Indian call center industry plummets when consumers collectively rise up and demand adequate customer service. Dell, notably, ends its offshore operations.
- Evangelical christians release their stranglehold on American politics, realizing that there is a seperation of church and state.
- Social Security budget secured through FY 2010 thanks to a single, one-time donation of ExxonMobil quarterly profit earmarked for return to the American public.
- Discover card is hot in 2007 because of its cashback offer; Visa, MasterCard stagnate; American Express goes out of business when people realize they don’t have to pay $75 a year for a credit card.
- America Online resumes disk-mailing strategy, except this time, distribute HD-DVD and Bluray copies of AOL software.
- Internet gambling continues despite federal legislation prohibiting it as people realize the feds are wholly incapable of patrolling the tubes.
- Milton Friedman continues spinning in his grave as the Drug War continues; voters interested in repealing drug laws forget both the address of their legislators and the date on which voting takes place.
- Looming, crocheting, pocket calculators: still immensely unpopular
What do you think?
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