Rants on business, science, technology, society, politics, police, and justice, plus life hacks and tricks, since 2003. header image 2

I’m In The $; Jared Is Back; Hatch Hawks Horridness

July 14th, 2004 · No Comments

I got a few things to talk about today. I’m going to start off with two silly news articles that have little to do with the headline today. I know that very often, I find myself pondering the question, “Do I bash the Catholic Church enough?” Lately, the answer I’ve been giving myself is a resounding no. But then again, very often the dioceses and other church officals go through extraordinary measures to ensure that everybody knows how foolish and corrupt they really are. Catholics are a radical bunch in a global society such as that which exists right now. For example, people generally do not consider photos of clothed females to be pornographic. I, however, know that even writing about telephones on a website could be considered pornographic *COUGH*TOTALLY-TRUE*COUGH*. Excuse me, I have pneumonia and so I have quite a cough. Anyway, the diocese in Pittsburgh is outraged because it has discovered that for the last 10 years or so, the local newspaper has included ads for escort and massage services (which, of course, are widely known as fronts for organized prostitution). Discovering that people have been selling their bodies since the beginning of recorded history, the church has come out and suggested that the paper take the only reasonable course of action and include a disclaimer on the front page stating the newspaper contains sexual content. The newspaper responded by saying, “OMGWTFLOL u r teh dumbass,” and has essentially ignored the church’s comments (probably because they were pretty unrealistic).

Speaking of unrealistic, how about that wacky Orrin Hatch character.

Mormons clearly have all the religious answers, and Senator Hatch is a devout Mormon. After his success with legislation to destroy computers of people that posessed MP3s, and subsequent success with the gay-marriage ban amendment, Senator Hatch proceeded to take the the reigns on an issue that matters in this highly tense presidential election year. Yesterday, Senator Hatch filed papers with the justice department, seeking a presidential pardon for a boxer that died in 1946, having decided that there was no other topic worth his time as a chosen representative of the people. Sen. Hatch, I salute your strong beliefs and would only like to remind you that you are perhaps one of the most retarded and backward human beings alive.

And people have to eat to stay alive — which is why Subway is bringing Jared back, despite the fact that no one believed that you could lose 200 pounds eating hoagies.

Alright and anyway, I am really excited to say that my computer repair thing is going pretty well right now. I’ve spent three nights this week working after my day job is over. I totally don’t need to be working independently outside my regular job, but it’s certainly good experience and I really enjoy it! Enjoy your day folks, sorry that this entry took so long to write.

Poker chips

Tonight I played Texas Hold ‘Em at Joe’s house again, and had a great deal of fun. Note to self: chill with Joe more.

Tags: Computers · Government & Politics · Police, Law, & Justice · Technology

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