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No, I didn’t get drunk. I drank the other night during the Monopoly game. It seems like everyone in the news today was drunk though. First, here’s the story of some SAE brothers from out west that were sued because they let their drunken frat party spin out of control. I think that SAE brothers from RPI should take a hint and start throwing parties this cool. Next, we have the story of some drunk kids who were able to successfully elude the police during a high speed chase, reaching speeds over 100 miles per hour. Oh, but then they did eventually get caught when they stopped in a driveway. Dumbasses.

The other person in the news today, who just acts as smart as someone who’s drunk. Chances are, he probably never gets drunk, because he’s a devout Mormon. Today’s dumbass trophy goes to Sen. Orrin Hatch, who’s hatched another idea to clamp down copyright infringement law even further (pun intended). This is the same genious that spawned the idea of creating system to destroy the computers of file sharers. Great work, dude, great work. Sen. Hatch, you are truly a credit to the human race.

Here I am in Best Buy, holding my gift card, and wearing a bright red clown nose. There was a gay guy working behind the counter when I went to have a transaction re-rung. He said it was his first day there, and that so far it wasn’t very fun for him. He actually was flirting with me right in front of Allison, but was so friendly and funny about it that she didn’t mind at all. Admittedly, it was pretty funny. He was really charismatic and and witty. He was the one that gave me the clown nose. Employees like this enhance my personal opinion of Best Buy, because generally I do not like Best Buy very much at all. But this guy was a good hire. Notice that I’m smiling. Usually I don’t smile at Best Buy. I’m smiling because I made money off the transaction! So the moral of the story is, if you’re a Best Buy cashier, focus on the cash drawer, save your one-liners and urges to look at men’s asses for the weekend, or maybe try stand-up.

Yeah so, it’s finally over. The tests were hard, I still have lab reports to do, and I was [drinking by 1PM] thanks to the fact that I randomly bumped into Eugene (from the class) as I was about to drive home. I was talking to my mom, and I was kind of choked up, and upset that it was over. I happened to see him on the street, so I ended the phone call, did a K-turn, and offered him a ride. We ended up buying a 30-rack and I knocked about 7 beers back [with them, not alone] — and we drank ’em quick [and stopped]. It was a good time, but unfortunately I had to drive home [which is why we stopped, I ended up leaving around 4:30 and getting home around 5:20]. Which, of course, was fun as usual, because I am a total road rage inciting fool apparently.

Now, normally, I like to ignore aggressive drivers. But the one habit that as of late has really bothered me is illegal passing. During rush hour, everyone has to wait. No one is special. There is no “priority” during a traffic jam — people that drive big SUVs or sports cars do not have any advantage, and the rich and the poor wait alongside each other. So when some jerk tries to pass in an on-ramp lane or a shoulder, it bothers me to high holy hell. The worst spots for this on the Thruway are near the Palisades Mall, mainly because the entrance and exit ramps are so long and afford drivers with plenty of clear open road. Some dude in a Mercedes with a New Jersey plate came weaving up through traffic (changing lanes unsafely as it was), and went to go pass me in the Palisades Center on-ramp as I was in the right lane, waiting patiently for traffic to crawl along at a smooth 25 or 30 mph [which, although not very quick, is a fair pace for an afternoon rush]. I would have let him pass me, and would have given a hand gesture — but then I noticed he was on his cell phone. This is what really pushed me over the edge, because this guy was driving like a moron switching lanes like crazy, then trying to pass on the shoulder, and he has the audacity to talk on a cell phone too? I swung my car hard right as he approached, and he tried to go even farther right. I swung further out, and then he tried to pass left — no dice buddy! He got back in the lane, and for the next mile and a half, I drove with my middle finger extended vertically as he continued to wait behind me and talk on his phone.

What I did was utilize counter-aggression to make myself feel better about his own bad driving habits. What I did was not justified, nor was it safe. It was foolish. Then, as I was about to exit, another driver who had witnessed my vigilante-driving was passing me in the middle lane (to my left, in a lane, like a normal driver passes someone). The driver looked at me, waved, smiled, and gave me a hearty thumbs up — an approval of my actions and an affirmation that other drivers appreciate the fact that bad drivers get what’s coming to them. To the fools that dare pass me on the shoulder ever again — watch it, because [many people] have no problem letting your dumb ass rear-end [them]. What do you think would happen if a cop showed up on the scene and [there were two cars] in the shoulder with your car behind me? The fact of the matter is, a rear-end collision in the shoulder is almost impossible — unless the guy in back was doing something wrong. Be careful fools, be careful[, because you can hurt somebody and ruin your life over saving three seconds on the highway].

In other news, finally, someone pulled off a senior prank that was both novel and non-destructive. In the past couple of days alot of senior pranks have been perpetrated against their respective schools, some of which have included students peeing all over their school. It’s pretty dumb, really, to destroy a school when you’re on camera like these kids definitely knew they were. What’s more asinine about that story is that the school opted not to take legal action against them — talk about lucky. Oh yeah, I’m supposed to be talking about the non-destructive senior prank. Well, some kids got the idea to sell their school on eBay. Now that is freaking clever. Good job, kids, you’re making me, as the former co-captain of the screw crew (and the glue crew), very proud to be an American. Unlike drivers on American highways, who make me grit my teeth and pray for better things.

McDonalds now apparently tries to use hypnotic suggestion to sell breakfast. “Suddenly, you’re really hungry, and when I count backwards from three and clap my hands, you will… eat this raw egg and make noises like a rooster!” I can see it now.

I love that commercial where the old woman is playing golf and the song in the background is like, “gotta go gotta go gotta go right now,” because I can totally relate to that woman’s problems. Sometimes, you’re somewhere where a bathroom is not readily available. Of course, I don’t need prescription drugs to solve that problem, because… I just go. Doesn’t that make sense? Ok, you get the urge to go… just go. I drink a super-size diet soda (41 floz) every morning. Naturally, I find myself in the “gotta go right now” situation quite frequently. This [is] quite relieving.

This was the photo that got me all choked up: the Organic Chemistry I Lab Class from Manhattan College, June 2004 session. I took the picture and the kids laughed that I suggested such a silly idea (when was the last time anyone took a class picture, elementary school?). Anyway, I looked at the photo later, and I was thinking about how much of a positive impact each of these kids left on me, and then I noticed that… everyone was smiling. Every last kid in that class had a smile on their face. I just looked at this picture and started wishing I could be with kids like this all the time. Thank you so much to the kids in my class. You have no idea how much your company meant to me. RPI, our time is limited.

Ally and I went to Fiesta Garibaldi near the Palisades Center tonight. It was a lovely dinner, although the food left a little bit to be desired. We ordered chicken quesadillas (they brought us quesadillas made with some kind of pork instead, but it was alright anyway), enchiladas, and chimichangas. Basically, we got three variations of the meat-in-tortilla-with-other-stuff meal. It was very filling. They brought us out a desert made of tortilla chips, chocolate, and whipped cream, and that was probably the best part.

So today was my last day of class. I got some contact infos from some of the cool kids, just in case. “Just in case,” what does that mean? I am strongly, strongly entertaining the possibility of not going back to RPI. I would like to elaborate on this in today’s entry. There have been many instances in which I’ve talked about how much I love RPI. I suppose that I was confusing love with infatuation in alot of respects. I cannot forget how horribly miserable my first year was (nor can I forget how miserable it must have been for some of the people that lived in close proximity of me *cough*Stevenson*cough*). RPI has that effect on people, I suppose. It’s very discouraging. Part of what is most discouraging about it is the incredibly awkward social scene. People have a tendency to simply ignore each other, and I don’t find that this happens in alot of other places. People don’t take of themselves, either. It’s acceptable to skip showers for multiple consecutive days — for both sexes. Some people would say that skipping showers is ‘a guy thing’ and that it’s moderately socially acceptable because guys are ‘dirty’ anyway. I think that skipping out on showers is atrocious, period. That’s why it’s disgusting to see RPI girls neglect themselves just as bad as the worst of the males. I recall an instance in which Professor Reid made a very interesting statement: “Are the girls at Florida State prettier than the girls at RPI? You bet!” Of course his intention was not to be insulting, but rather to be thought provoking in a humorous way. He added, “Girls at Florida State spend plenty of time to look pretty. I don’t really see girls at RPI taking that same kind of time, they’re just as busy as the guys.” It’s true, but it also raises an important question: what the hell are people spending all their time on? RPI is rated lower than plenty of schools in terms of it’s academic quality, yet recieves the 2nd highest rating for “Students Never Stop Studying” according to the Princeton Review.

Are people just stressed out in general? Why do people seem so unhappy? I don’t know the answers to either of those questions. I used to speculate that people at RPI were more introverted than average, but when I was allowed to look at aggregated MBTI scores, it turns out there was a 50/50 split between extroverted and introverted personalities (with the caveat that the MBTI is not an analysis of a person’s ability to be ‘outgoing’). Frankly, I just don’t understand how the people at RPI can be so freaking lame.

Wait, actually, I think I might be able to understand. Think about RPI like this: have you ever seen Elimidate? If you haven’t it’s a reality TV show, and each episode follows a group of five random people along on a date. There will be one person who ‘chooses’ and four people ‘competing’ for the central person. It’s fantastically amusing, because the producers go through elaborate steps to ensure a high degree of drama on every show. Say there is a girl as the central figure in the show — the four guys usually will be the dumbest, horniest muscleheads imaginable, and they will all fanatically compete to ‘win’ the girl. Similarly, if there is one guy on a date with four girls, the four girls will usually be total bombshells, with the most unrealistically catty attitudes possible. They too will compete to win the date. One night I was watching the show and I made a joke that this show got the ratings it did because the competition was hysterical. Now, take that idea and translate it to an RPI frat party. It’s Elimidate — constantly. There are four guys to every girl, and people really do ‘compete’ to ‘win’ the girls. As one would imagine, this is horrible for persons of both genders. Guys constantly feel like they have something to prove, and believe it or not, most of the girls don’t feel like they’re trying to be ‘won’ on a daily basis. This creates intense sexual tension. This tension then spills over into virtually any school-related function. When one sits in class, they had better be completely aware of how they act so as not to appear anything but cool and tough. Then when the class ends, and they walk around on campus, they had better not say anything stupid around a girl, because to say something stupid would not be cool and tough — so they just don’t say anything. Then on the bus ride back to class, they stare out the window. Then when they get home, they stay home and wish for something more. But you know what? It seems like everyone at RPI wants someone else to do something about their lonliness. Forget that — I’m outgoing enough to want to change something like that, but people that are too lame to acknowledge other people around them can go fark themselves. It’s good that kids at RPI aren’t having sex, because it might mean that there would be more lame-o’s around.

I’m out of there as soon as possible. I won’t be able to get in anywhere for the fall semester, and I will probably be set back a semester. But you know what? I’d rather have to do an extra semester than be miserable and live with a bunch of fags — frat loving, Elimidating, introverted fags.

This is one of those ‘speed trailers’ that tell you how fast you’re going as you drive by. In 11th grade, as a project for AP statistics, I wrote an article about these devices — and as one might imagine, I found that the average speed of drivers was not significantly lowered. In fact, however, the proportion of persons ‘racing’ the sign was high enough that it assuredly outweighed any potential safety benefits. Most drivers slowed down to a speed that was reasonable — few drivers actually came down under the speed limit. The 85th percentile speed on the roads in Clarkstown is definitely not 30 miles per hour (and this is the speed at which the speed limits should be set, in theory). Thus, what we have is a conflict of interests — some drivers slow down significantly, and others speed up to spite the sign. What do you think would happen if one of the speed demons came around a bend only to find a driver going much slower than is reasonable? So, that’s basically why I think these speed trailers are not such a good idea. Good intentions pave the road to hell, which, in fact, does not have speed trailers on it, making the road to hell safer than this road.

No sleep + Mother in hospital + Tons of organic chem work + Commitments outweighing time assets (social debt) + No sleep + No sleep + NO FREAKING SLEEP = Dull website. So, that was my day, pretty lame. Oh yeah, and EZPass farked with me this morning. I saw some dink trying to back up out of the EZPass lane, and I thought to myself, what a dipshiat. I gave him enough room to back up should he have finished the manuever, but he put the van back in drive and continued forward like a good driver. I inched through the EZPass lane to find out exactly what was going on… it told me, with my valid EZPass account, to ‘CALL’. This is interesting, because usually it completes the message and says, ‘CALL EZPASS’. In any event, when I find out what it means exactly, I’m probably going to get even more pissed… unless it means that I got away without having to pay the toll, in which case, sweet.

Oh, something nice happened to me today. I was at the self service car wash on Route 59 near the Palisades Mall, and after having a rather interesting discussion with Rockland County’s Arson Investigator (who happened to be in the adjacent wash-bay), I ran out of money. I approached a woman in her late 20s, asking to trade a lottery ticket worth $1 for just 75 cents. She insisted that I just take the 75 cents. It was very nice of her. Good karma, good karma, keep it going. Anyway, here’s some weird news for the day: McDonalds, my absolute favorite restaurant, will now be adding top-30 DVDs to their menu. That isn’t weird enough for you? Oh, ok, how about the story about the traffic plane that made an emergency landing today — on a highway. As you could imagine, it created quite a traffic jam!

Here is the obligatory ‘this-is-way-more-beautiful-than-RPI’ shot, taken of course, at Manhattan College.

And what the hell is this garbage? It was posted in front of the Nanuet Middle School on College Avenue. If this is someone’s attempt to take traffic control into their own hands, to that I say: hey, leave that to me. You can’t just post signs, especially big ugly signs, wherever you damn well please. Furthermore, only people as foolhardy and experienced in transportation engineering as myself should be involved in such endeavours as sign-posting (or removal).

Well, it’s been a long time since this site has been properly updated. To celebrate the coming of the summer, here are some links to pictures of totally average girls that posted their pictures on Webshots in which they have or are peeing (safe for work, only suggestive). Why post this? Well, really, they posted their own pictures, these are just links. If one wanted to know why someone would post these pictures, their best bet for finding out would be to contact the girls directly, cause honestly, it’s mind boggling that someone would want themselves depicted urinating on the internet. Vomitting though, that’s a whole different story. Who wouldn’t want pictures of them on the internet in which they are vomitting? I mean, really.

As of the 2006 update of this site, none of the links below work anymore.

‘taking a piddle’ by starxrie1 |
‘Haha! Tinkle Time!!!’ by Flamingo0402 |
‘Jen had to tinkle’ by susberg |
‘mission accomplished’ by roxy071785 |
‘haha i think shes gonna pee’ by lizybits217 |
‘sHe reaLLy haD tO pEE!’ by babya41 |
‘silly erin!’ by alistar06 |
‘meg next to her pee…’ by deedle22588